What Tupac Taught Me about Black Pain and Trauma

My memories bring me misery,
and life is hard in the ghetto, it’s insanity,
I can’t breathe
Got me thinking, what do Hell got?
Cause I done suffered so much, I’m feelin’ shell-shocked

-Tupac, “Lord Knows”

22 Years ago today, Tupac Shakur died at the age of 25, six days after being shot in Las Vegas.

Although he’s been gone for over 2 decades, many hip hop fans still are captivated with the image and legend associated with Tupac. They hear the songs, they see pictures of him flipping off and spitting at reporters. He’s praised for his wit, candor and general vibe of “No f**ks given” before it was even called that. To some, he’s almost a folk hero.

But in recent years, what I’ve come to realize is one of the things which also makes many people connect to Tupac is what’s under the surface of his image, and that is the fact that he constantly dealt with trauma and pain.

Lyrics aside, you could just look at the titles of some of his songs and notice a pattern: “Trapped”, “Pain”, “Under Pressure”, “So Many Tears”, “Me Against The World”, “Krazy”… Do you see what I mean?

Themes of sadness, rage, hopelessness, betrayal, and paranoia all became signature parts of Tupac’s music and his image, and if you take a look at his life, it’s no surprise that these themes are prevalent. Many people are aware of Tupac’s story, but not many consider how his experiences effected him mentally and emotionally.

He was born into a Black radical family at a time where the US government declared war on Black radical movements. His mother, Afeni Shakur, a high-profile NYC Black Panther, faced extensive police surveillance and harassment, much of which Tupac witnessed firsthand as a young child.

Based on his mother’s political history and her connections, she was blacklisted, and it was difficult for her keep jobs, so his family moved around a lot and dealt with poverty. In Tupac’s high school years, he witnessed his mother become addicted to crack cocaine.

He was beaten by police for jaywalking when he was only 20 years old. At 21, he was involved in an altercation in which he was blamed for the accidental shooting death of a six-year-old child.